This is a really funny article from the Manswers show on what they do with the crap of a president.  Apparently…and this is no joke… wherever Bush craps they pick it out and bring it home.  The reason being is in history secret agencies have gone after political enemies and gathered their crap.  From their crap they can tell what kind of physical condition they are in.  This could be important information. Especially if they find out the political enemy has diabetes, heart condition or shall we say Herpes. Funny sh#t…literally.  Watch the video: http://www.ifilm.com/video/2905686/show/22792

 I’ve seen some really bad dating shows in my time, but Hell Date has topped most of them.  Essentially they put some poor sap on the show (male or female) to go on a blind date.  The date is a scam.  They have some actor as the blind date and they create a stupid -horrible date situation.  These dates are so unbelievably bad that I don’t know how the person on it doesn’t just jump up halfway through it and scream “Am I on that stupid Hell Date show?”  It is a low budget, ghetto version of Punked. 
Now I can forgive the horrific acting and stupid situations but the kicker at the end of each date is they have some ugly, ugly midget come out, dressed as a f#ckin devil… with a pitch fork and he starts poking the people. He looks like Flavor Flav’s “Mini-Me”.  The midget does not say a word, he just comes out and just stands there and waves his head back and forth and wields the pitch fork.
Because the show is so bad… when the cast tells the person they are on Hell Date… they don’t even know what the hell they are talking about.  Unless you are in Baghdad and you only have one English TV station, don’t watch this show.

Mrs. Jetson is a MILF.  Best thing about her is even if she is one of those chicks that has to take a shower before sex, the Jetsons have that automatic shower.  All she has to do is hop in the shower and in seconds she’s done and ready to rock.

She fulfills that “friend’s mom you always wanted to sleep with” fantasy  Some other benefits: She’s got Rosie the robot maid that can video tape your nasty sessions, and cook food for afterwards. And Rosie won’t say anything… just delete her memory after each Jetson visit.

And lastly, Mrs. Jetson (also known as Jane) is f#cking George Jetson. WHAT A YAK HUSBAND… so you know you are getting ass.  And if George comes home early and Jane is all hot and sticky… once again that auto shower comes into play and everything will be fine.  George will never know.
 

There is new breed of women in the United States that are weak… or just huge pain in the asses.  I don’t like smoke, I don’t like to be around smoke and so I AVOID places where there is a lot of smoke. BUT… what I do realize is there are times you may come across smoke and you may need to bear with it for a little time.  For example, you are walking into a restaurant and there’s someone smoking outside.  So you walk through the smoke cloud for about 3 seconds and then you are done.

This new breed of women is the “Smoke-Free” bitches. You don’t find these women in Europe (of course they smoke two packs a day) but you got them here in America.  These are the women that can’t stand to be around smoke for even a millisecond.  If someone is smoking 125 yards from them they start whining and moaning.  Well actually whining and moaning would be OK… to be more accurate they outright start BITCHING.  And not to anyone else but YOU.  “I can’t believe that person… why do they have to smoke?”  WOMAN… the dude is on the other side of the highway.  “Yeah but I can still smell it”. 

Oh and there’s always some “medical” reason behind it.  “It bothers my eyes, I have allergies, it irritates my throat.”  Here’s one other possible reason…. YOU ARE A PRINCESS.  If a person lights up next to you in a closed area I can see a complaint, but if they outside and a reasonable distance… give me a break.

In conclusion, people have the right to smoke and the government has restricted them virtually everywhere.  So you don’t have to deal with smoke in stores, restaurants, bars etc.  A little drop of smoke will not kill you.  The fumes from cars in the parking lots you shop at constantly will!         

After years of Tanqueray commercials and Tony Sinclair as their “esteemed” representative I have to say something.  Who the f#ck is Tony Sinclair?  Where did they get this guy?  He looks like Buckwheat from the Little Rascals; he’s got snaggle teeth and laughs like a Hyena.  And who are these hot chicks hanging on Sinclair.  Christ they must really be pounding the Tanqueray to be adoring this yakamo. 

“What’s true for shrimp cocktail is true for all cocktails…always in moderation.”  BITE ME Sinclair!

This is an article by David Zinczenko on yahoo.  OK Zinczenko, I’m sold on your article on how flirting can help your relationship, now give me some tips on how I’m going to sell this madness to my wife.  OHHH, but I spoke too soon… Zinczenko, gives these four benefits in his article that will surely help you explain flirting to your significant other:

- Flirting Gives You Confidence
- Flirting Keeps You Sharp
- Flirting Lets You Build Up Sexual Energy
- Flirting Reminds You How Good You Have It

OK so your wife catches you flirting with the customer service chick at Babies R US.  At first she is really pissed.  #1 Because you wrote your cell # on the back of the gift receipt and she needs that receipt for her friend’s baby shower.  #2  Because you are FLIRTING. 

Tempers flair!  A “Tickle me Elmo” doll is thrown to the floor.  Next she goes for the Pamper’s Pull Ups “48 pack” and tosses it at your head.  Finally, the cliché… yet effective… kick to the nuts.  Read more…