Unleashed Humor

You are looking for love and the usual avenues have failed you.  Now you have turned to technology.  We are not talking about purchasing a wife from Indonesia online, we are talking about going to a dating site. 

So you’ve seen all the commercials, browsed the web and you’ve chosen your site.  You set up your profile, answer all the questions, throw in a pic from about 10 years ago (so you look good) and now you are ready to get some ASS!

OK maybe not that simple, but the dating sites want to help you in any way they can.  For example, Date.com has a toolbar to help you track your progress.  Now this may appear to be a good idea.  While you work, instead of logging in, you can just merely glance at your toolbar and see your dating progress. 

This is great if you work from home, work in a box, or don’t work.  But if you are in a busy office environment, with people coming in and out, the toolbar is going to be noticed.  This is not what you need.  First off the whole office knows you are on Date.com.  Second, because they know you are looking for a date, everyone is trying to hook you up with their one-eyed, half retarded cousin. LASTLY, and most importantly, what if YOUR STATS SUCK?  “You have no people interested in you today”.

Your office mate checks the toolbar, you have “0” profile views gleaming on the screen.  He starts to laugh.  You retaliate by saying “Oh that’s just for today”.  Your office mate overpowers you, starts clicking around your Date.com toolbar and finds out you’ve been a member since January 2007 and have only had 4 hits (one being your mom, as you asked her to proofread your profile). This information spreads like a California wildfire throughout the office. 

Moral of the story:  If you use the internet for dating… SKIP THE TOOLBAR, unless you are a stud and have a ton of views.  Then you get the 27” monitor for your desk.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 28th, 2008 at 10:11 am and is filed under Pure Madness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.