Oh Chunky bretherens, this marks a historical moment… Cool Whip is now in a can. No more battling with the tub and trying to scrape off whip from the spoon.  The tub was just so 80’s.  In the commercials they always showed this hand perfectly scooping out a spoon full of topping and it perfectly falling atop of cherry pie.

My spoon full always stuck and fell atop of the cake like a racoon Read more…

I’m sick of hearing the same old cr#p on dieting.  Everyone has a new twist and as my pants get tighter and tighter I get more and more annoyed.  There is an article from Yahoo Health on Volumetrics, the latest cure to chunkiness.  “Eat more weigh less” my ass!  Here are some excerpts with Unleashed comments: Read more…

Ah, the age old question, KFC or Popeyes?  I’ve heard gang fights have broken out because of this.  Marriages broken up, families divided, people being taken out of wills based on chicken preferances.

But before we go on, on this very contraversial topic, we are going to the leave the “sides” out of this.  We’re not going to talk of coleslaw, mashed potatoes and coleslaw, we are just talkin chicken and style!

KFC is more refined, sort of like a P. Diddy.  It’s got the marketing, the upbeat commercials, the adoring fans and the cool bucket.  But the chicken is too mainstream.  It’s too safe and they have too many white people on their commercials.  Taste is ordinary.

Popeyes is just awful marketing BUT great chicken.  Like Trick Daddy… raw, spicy and in your face.  I don’t ever recall seeing a commercial for it, but I’m too far up north for that… BUT I assume there is limited white people… thus indicating great chicken.

Overall, in this age old debate, I have to go with Popeyes.  But one word for Popeyes… GET BUCKETS BITCHES!   

About six months back we got a vending machine in our office.  At first a great idea, but I really feel I’m putting on the pounds.  You can only use change or $1 bills, which is a plus, but if I have $1 bills I’m spending them.  They burn a hole in my pocket.

Well you know how this story goes.  I’m hitting the vending machine several times a day.  My hands are stained orange from Doritos, I have Cheetos crumbs all over my lap top keyboard, and my desk looks like a sacred burial ground for snack bags.

Well this vending guy is a friend of mine.  He knows who eats what in the office… cause I give him the inside scoop each week…. and to be honest with you… I’m pretty much the only person eating.  We have a big office but most people are offsite at clients.  He actually knows when I’m traveling as snack sales are down.

Well some weeks back I decided to leave my $1 bills in the car…to avoid temptation.  He knew I was not traveling, yet snack sales were low.  So this assh#le decides to incorporate some “crack dealer” marketing techniques. Read more…

Oh chunky brethrens, once again there is another solution to our weight dilemmas.  There is now the Radical FAT PATCH. 

“The Regular Fat Loss Patch is an extraordinary self-adhesive dietary aid featuring a natural blend of high-performing herbs that slowly release through the skin, to gently stimulate your body’s metabolism. The result is a safe and easy way to increase your energy levels, lose fat, preserve lean muscle, and maintain a healthy body weight. Transdermal absorption bypasses the liver and intestinal system, providing less stress on your organs, and goes right into your bloodstream, producing faster, more effective results.”

WHAT????????  I get a little nervous when I hear sh#t like “bypasses liver and intestinal system”.  I’m no doctor but something sounds fishy. Read more…

“I’ve always loved to eat. As a child, anything I wanted my parents gave to me. So I was heavy all my life. I was never obese, but I was fat. My self-esteem was really low, and I did not socialize at all. I never had any girlfriends.” – Ron C. (msn health & fitness post)

OK here’s the deal.  Big Ron decided to go on a diet and lost some weight.  The guy is a nice enough guy… I’m not busting chops, but for Ron… you may want to get yourself off the f#ckin msn health & fitness page and for god’s sake…stop telling the world you’ve never been kissed by a girl.

He’s got balls to be on the msn site and for telling his story.  One of those usual diet stories…. “yes I cut down on devouring Doritos late at night, I stopped eating whole turkeys, avoided super-sizing and of course cut out the carbs”.  All cool and informative but then he drops the bomb, he says he’s never had a girlfriend, and never been kissed by a girl.

Dude just stop at the diet, no need to get personal.  There was probably some chicks checking out your pic and thinking “hey he’s cute”.  Then they scroll down in the article and find out you never kissed a girl.  You went from cute to weird.  He essentially said “food was his women” for years.  So now, unless you’re a casserole, you don’t want to get it on with Ron.

Read post:  http://tinyurl.com/32w2eg