I sat next to a mom a few days back on a flight.  I fagged out and was getting all mushy talking about my daughter’s first Halloween parade at day care.  Well this chick had a child who was 9 years old, blah, blah, blah and then we got into the new candy issue of this age.

Apparently moms are really starting to get serious with this “no candy” cr#p.  This woman actually hands out carrots to trick-or-treaters.  Also, she does lets her poor son go trick-or-treating but she throws out all of the candy when he gets home.  She will give him fruits and vegetables.

R U F#CKING KIDDING ME!

Ever see those movies or watch Court TV, and the kid slaughters his parents.  This could be a reason.

Look I love my kid and want the best, but you got to get to reality.  Why would you let them go out and collect candy and then take it back? 

Well I was baffled by this conversation.  And so I took some time and hit the web to see if this mom was f#cking with me or the real deal. I have to tell you, there are other nut jobs out there.  There are a ton of articles mentioning alternatives to candy.

Check these out:  School supplies, apple sauce, cheese and crackers, granola bars.

God I am so glad I am not a kid anymore.  Here’s the deal soccer moms…  MODERATION!!!!!  Let kids have candy, just make sure they are not eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Is that tooooooooo hard?  Oh by the way, have mom’s forgotten that there is a new invention… it’s called the toothbrush.  If your kid has some candy, just make sure they brush. 

Deprive your kids from these treats and when they hit 18, they are going to go on the candy binge of the century.   They’ll be grinding up Sweet Tarts and sniffing them.  Melting chocolate and shooting up with it.  Bathing is caramel.

Heed my warning candy haters.  I will quote the movie Braveheart.  “You can take away our candy… but you can’t take away our freedom!!!!”