An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, ‘Sir, have you been drinking?’
‘Just water,’ says the priest.
The trooper says, ‘Then why do I smell wine?’
The priest looks at the bottle and says, ‘Good Lord! He’s done it again!’
I’m getting all sorts of SPAM the last few days on flowers for St. Patrick’s Day. The flower industry is out of control, promoting flowers for just about anything. Now I know Irish culture, have seen all the Leprechaun movies, and from what I’ve gathered, about the only thing you get for St. Patrick’s day is green beer, whiskey and a miserable hangover the next morning. Flowers for a true Irishman can be dangerous. (more…)
Three - One to hold the lightbulb, and two to drink until the room spins.
O’Malley was talking to some young lads at the local pub, ranting as usual. The just of his rant was that he was not appreciated.
“Lads” O’Malley said. “You see the Well down at the town square? I made that over the course of five years. It took a lot of sweat and effort but I made it all on my own. BUT, do you hear anyone call me O’Malley the well maker”.
“And the picket fence that runs all along the town. It took me years to build and paint, BUT you don’t hear anyone call me O’Malley the fence maker. ”
“And this bar we stand before as we drink this wonderful stout. It took me four greuling years to build, and yet you don’t hear anyone call me O’Malley the bar maker.”
“But get caught f#cking one sheep…….”
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